It's already happened 5 times and it's only December 3rd.
What's happened? I've watched 5 Hallmark Christmas Movies and I'm not the slightest bit ashamed.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like "real" movies too. I just watched Creed II a couple of weeks ago (also great by the way), and I consider myself quite eclectic in my movie selections. In fact, one of the ways I like to relax is to watch a good movie.
So why do I like the Hallmark Christmas Movies so much?
That's a great question and I hope you find my answer an interesting one.
I could wax eloquent about the intense plot suspense and the unexpected twists and turns of these Hallmark Christmas gems, but I can already see my wife rolling her eyes at me, so I'll spare you. I could tell you about the top-tier acting that is offered in each 2 hour block of joy, but you would know I'm not serious. So, if not for the great plots or actors, why watch them?
The answer is really quite simple.
Let me start here. I am a man. An almost 41 year old man. I have grown up these last 30+ years in a country (I was a military kid so I didn't really land in America till 3rd grade) that introduced me to women as sex objects almost from the time I arrived and has never stopped pushing that view.
Men my age today have been exposed to pornographic magazines (Playboy/Penthouse/etc.), over the counter magazines (Maxim/S.I. Swimsuit Calendar/etc.), Premium channels (HBO/Cinemax...or what I call "sin to the max"/etc.), risque & novelty stores (Victoria Secret/Adam & Eve/Spencers/etc.), sexualized movies & TV shows (Basic Instinct/Fatal Attraction/Game of Thrones/etc.), and worst of all the black hole of internet pornography available everywhere (laptops/desktops/tablets/smart phones/etc.).
What does any of that have to do with Hallmark Christmas movies?
Everything.
You see, when I sit down with my wife (who normally falls asleep) to watch a Hallmark Christmas Movie, I can be absolutely sure...understand the power of those words...absolutely sure that for the next two hours I am not in any way going to be exposed to anything remotely sexual, inappropriate, culturally catered, or erotic. Instead, I will be exposed to simple and beautiful love stories of romance and relationship between a man and a woman.
Yes, they are often poorly acted and haltingly delivered but there is actually even a beauty in that. Yes, the plots are predictable, but as I tell my wife it's not about the destination. It's about the journey. It's about letting those two hours be what they are.
Pure. Wholesome. Family friendly. Fun. Light hearted. Smile inducing (dialogue, plot, or actors it doesn't matter ;-) )
These words are used so rarely now a days, and if they are used they certainly don't mean what they used to mean.
*Case in point: I was looking on the back of Elf (which we own) just 2 days ago and saw it had a seal on it that said "Family Approved." I found that disappointing because although my family has watched Elf together I had to fast forward the part at the end when they decide to write in an unnecessary cuss word...you know kinda like in Princess Bride? To me "Family Approved" shouldn't include cuss words. I doubt I'm alone on that.*
But back to my point and in conclusion let me just say this. At least for now, Hallmark Christmas Movies offer us one of the last untainted escapes every year. They remind us of a day too quickly slipping away if not already gone. They highlight people over jobs, love over sex, marriage over hooking up, and family over individualism.
That is the beauty of Hallmark Christmas Movies and why I watch as many as I can.
Just the ponderings of a simple guy. Thoughts?
Monday, December 3, 2018
Monday, November 26, 2018
Missionaries
A lot has changed since 1956.
"On January 8, 1956, Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Ed McCully, Peter Flemming, and Roger Youderian were speared to death on a sandbar called “Palm Beach” in the Curaray River of Ecuador. They were trying to reach the Huaorani Indians for the first time in history with the gospel of Jesus Christ." -John Piper (www.Desiringgod.org)
Last week, the news broke that John Allen Chau was killed while following in the footsteps of a generation 62 years earlier.
"According to letters recovered from the island and supplied to Reuters, John Allen Chau, 27, was killed while trying to bring Christianity to North Sentinel Island. The forested isle is part of the remote India-administered Andaman and Nicobar Islands in the Indian Ocean, and populated by an isolated indigenous tribe." -Newsweek
62 years ago it galvanized a nation, the American church, and lit a fire in American missions. Last week? Was it even mentioned in your church service?
I have no way of knowing, but I do know that at least among my Christian Facebook friends (the few that even mentioned it) it was more often criticized that praised. It was more often condemned than honored. It was more often ridiculed than embraced.
If this is what our understanding of missions has become, no wonder the world looks at Christianity with skepticism and anger. Have we so bowed to our culture that we truly believe that the Gospel should only be preached to those who are wearing a sign saying, "Please tell me about the wonderful message of Jesus"?
Some might site the passages (see Matthew 10:14; Mark 6:11; Luke 9:5) where Jesus is training his disciples and instructs them to "dust off their sandals" and move on if they or their message is not received as Biblical instruction to only witness to those who are "willing to listen." The problem with this interpretation is that it assumes that people know what they aren't wanting to listen to. If no one has told them, how can they be unwilling to listen?
It's like this.
It's Thanksgiving. Your cousin brings a girlfriend to the family dinner. As the day wears on, you begin to wonder if anyone has ever told her about Jesus before? So, what do you do? It seems our culture and now some Christians believe that you say nothing because she is by default not "willing to listen." But how do you know she is not willing to listen unless you first tell her? If, after you share the wonderful hope of Jesus with her, she rejects the truth claims of Jesus and says she doesn't want to talk about it, etc., then the Biblical instruction of Jesus kicks in and you do indeed stop. Jesus did not call us to be the stereotypical "Bible thumper." But neither did he call us to pull back in shame or fear from telling people of the only hope for eternity.
It seems many are condemning the actions of John Allen because he broke the law and risked a viral outbreak on an unexposed population. Without a doubt he did both of those things. Without a doubt, he did so because he believed he should actually practice what the Bible instructs.
18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:18-20
28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Matthew 10:28 (see also Luke 12:4)
18 So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, 20 for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” - Acts 4:18-20
God doesn't need us or want us to bash people over the head with the gospel message. He expects us to be so broken for the lost that our only response...our only response is Godly compassion. The kind of compassion Jesus had for you and for me as he took each and every step that led Him to the cross. The kind of compassion that says no matter the cost, even if it be my life, I will lay it all down for the sake of Christ, the cause of Christ, and that others might know of this Christ.
Today and every day I honor those like John Allen. He joined elite ranks last week. Sadly, those ranks are too often forgotten.
I say all this as an imperfect witness. I often over think and under love. I often am too busy and too bothered. I often pull back in fear rather than run towards with love. I need those like John Allen to remind me...to remind me that this life is not all that there is. There is more. Much, much more.
Thank you, John Allen, for running the race so well.
"On January 8, 1956, Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Ed McCully, Peter Flemming, and Roger Youderian were speared to death on a sandbar called “Palm Beach” in the Curaray River of Ecuador. They were trying to reach the Huaorani Indians for the first time in history with the gospel of Jesus Christ." -John Piper (www.Desiringgod.org)
Last week, the news broke that John Allen Chau was killed while following in the footsteps of a generation 62 years earlier.
"According to letters recovered from the island and supplied to Reuters, John Allen Chau, 27, was killed while trying to bring Christianity to North Sentinel Island. The forested isle is part of the remote India-administered Andaman and Nicobar Islands in the Indian Ocean, and populated by an isolated indigenous tribe." -Newsweek
62 years ago it galvanized a nation, the American church, and lit a fire in American missions. Last week? Was it even mentioned in your church service?
I have no way of knowing, but I do know that at least among my Christian Facebook friends (the few that even mentioned it) it was more often criticized that praised. It was more often condemned than honored. It was more often ridiculed than embraced.
If this is what our understanding of missions has become, no wonder the world looks at Christianity with skepticism and anger. Have we so bowed to our culture that we truly believe that the Gospel should only be preached to those who are wearing a sign saying, "Please tell me about the wonderful message of Jesus"?
Some might site the passages (see Matthew 10:14; Mark 6:11; Luke 9:5) where Jesus is training his disciples and instructs them to "dust off their sandals" and move on if they or their message is not received as Biblical instruction to only witness to those who are "willing to listen." The problem with this interpretation is that it assumes that people know what they aren't wanting to listen to. If no one has told them, how can they be unwilling to listen?
It's like this.
It's Thanksgiving. Your cousin brings a girlfriend to the family dinner. As the day wears on, you begin to wonder if anyone has ever told her about Jesus before? So, what do you do? It seems our culture and now some Christians believe that you say nothing because she is by default not "willing to listen." But how do you know she is not willing to listen unless you first tell her? If, after you share the wonderful hope of Jesus with her, she rejects the truth claims of Jesus and says she doesn't want to talk about it, etc., then the Biblical instruction of Jesus kicks in and you do indeed stop. Jesus did not call us to be the stereotypical "Bible thumper." But neither did he call us to pull back in shame or fear from telling people of the only hope for eternity.
It seems many are condemning the actions of John Allen because he broke the law and risked a viral outbreak on an unexposed population. Without a doubt he did both of those things. Without a doubt, he did so because he believed he should actually practice what the Bible instructs.
18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:18-20
28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Matthew 10:28 (see also Luke 12:4)
18 So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, 20 for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” - Acts 4:18-20
God doesn't need us or want us to bash people over the head with the gospel message. He expects us to be so broken for the lost that our only response...our only response is Godly compassion. The kind of compassion Jesus had for you and for me as he took each and every step that led Him to the cross. The kind of compassion that says no matter the cost, even if it be my life, I will lay it all down for the sake of Christ, the cause of Christ, and that others might know of this Christ.
Today and every day I honor those like John Allen. He joined elite ranks last week. Sadly, those ranks are too often forgotten.
I say all this as an imperfect witness. I often over think and under love. I often am too busy and too bothered. I often pull back in fear rather than run towards with love. I need those like John Allen to remind me...to remind me that this life is not all that there is. There is more. Much, much more.
Thank you, John Allen, for running the race so well.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Privilege
Merriam Webster (2018)
Definition of privilege (Noun)
: a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor : prerogative
especially
: such a right or immunity attached specifically to a position or an office
Definition of privilege (Verb)
Webster (1828)
I struggle with this word. Noun. Verb. I struggle.
Maybe its just me. Maybe I'm alone in my struggle. Maybe...but maybe not.
Maybe there are others who are uncomfortable, bothered by, and even angered by this word being used as a club to beat others with.
Why is it so bothersome? Why does it cause such a push back reaction in my heart?
For many, many months now I have been off and on again trying to process my reaction to this word. Today, I thought I would share some of my musings and thoughts to see if putting it in writing might help.
Yesterday, I read a wonderful post about the difference between blessing and privilege. By wonderful I mean it was well written, clear, honest, and vulnerable. Yet, it too didn't quite address the root issue (at least to me).
On one hand, I completely get it. By growing up white, middle class, and male I had certain advantages that others who were not white, not middle class, and not male did not. That is an indisputable fact. I agree with it. I offer no push back as to that reality.
But let me ask these questions. If that therefor translates to me being "privileged," then that must mean that those who can check those boxes are the "privileged" ones, right? If that has now become the "privileged" standard, then is everyone trying to enter that group? Or at the very least, is the goal for everyone to have the same inherent "privileges" that white, middle, class, males have?
I doubt many would fully agree with that. Why? Because it's not enough. "Privilege" has to also included upper class does it not? How about female too? Is the key determiner race? Is white the only privileged race? So, all those stereotypical super smart Asian kids aren't privileged? Dr. Ben Carson one of the best doctors in the world is still not considered "privileged" just because he is not white? President Obama is still not considered "privileged" because he fails to check the race box?
Can no one move up in this world unless they are the right gender, right economic class, or right race? Does work ethic, overcoming your parents divorce, abuse, trauma, or education shortfalls mean nothing anymore?
I could go on and on.
Where does it stop? Who gets to actually define what "privilege" is and who has it and who doesn't?
This morning I read that "privilege" isn't about what you have but what you didn't have to go through. That makes for a great soundbite, but where again does that stop? Can't anyone claim that since they didn't have two parents in the home, a house instead of an apartment, two cars instead of one, 3 siblings instead of none, two pets instead of 4, and on and on that they were disadvantaged to those who had those things...those "privileged" ones?
At the end of the day, isn't "privilege" the new way of saying racist? Maybe it's not, but it sure seems that way.
I guess the thing I struggle with the most about the word is that it robs everyone of their story, their journey, their testimony. Everyone. It focuses either on what someone had that you didn't or what you have to go through and they don't. Neither one of those scenarios helps us see the One who helps us overcome what we are lacking and helps us travel through what comes our way.
The underlying assumption of "privilege" is that my journey is much harder than yours. At the end of the day, isn't that an arrogant thing to say? Last time I checked, none of us know everything about anyone. Maybe we shouldn't assume we do so now just because it's 2018.
I get it. The world is hard. People are unfair. Life isn't easy. Circumstances can seem to make or break us. That truth was taught a long time ago.
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." - 1 Peter 5:10
Just the thoughts of a fellow traveler.
Sunday, October 7, 2018
On Behalf of Men
***Well, this is it. My return to the blogosphere. Let me begin with the disclaimers. These are my thoughts, my opinions, my musings, and my reflections on life and culture. They are not to be interpreted as the views of my church or my denomination of which and through which I am an ordained minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not presume to be right about all that I express, but rather I hope to be viewed as a fellow traveler along the pathway of life. With all that said, I do endeavor to write truthfully, honestly, and in submission to my faith since it guides every fiber of my being.***
Now.
For the last 2-3 weeks, I have watched, read, and prayed as the drama unfolded in the nominating and now installing of our latest Supreme Court Justice. I have been horrified, angered, disappointed, and shocked by numerous things over these last few weeks as many others have as well. Yet, depending on which "side of the isle" people find themselves aligning with, those emotional reactions have been to the same events but with vastly different results. I do not presume to change anyone's mind over those events, so I will not even attempt to try. Sadly, most align themselves so fully and deeply with their "isles" that rational conversation seems an unattainable goal.
I did try, and I will demonstrate the futility of it below.
On the morning of the confirmation hearings, a high school classmate of mine posted on FB that we should all support Dr. Ford. I made a comment on her wall and thus it began:
----------------------
Classmate: Chris, no one knows where you stand in anything because your knee jerk reaction to everything to stand in the middle and never take a side. Never supporting the victim but always playing it. If you stand for something, say it. Do you believe her or not? Otherwise, it’s just white noise. I don’t have the luxury of neutrality. And I don’t have time to talk to people who do.
I'm not talking about popular. Lots of things are popular. I'm talking about what brings people back with deep loyalty. Think about Lost. Was it the story telling? Absolutely! But what else? Men were written to be men. Not perfect. But true men.
I have no idea why the tide has turned so harshly on true solid masculinity, but I can say this. All over this country there are good, decent, hardworking, strong, loving men doing the hard work of providing and protecting, loving and leading, being honest and being humble, and when they see a man who by all known accounts is good and decent getting ripped to shreds on national TV night after night for something no one can prove, it triggers something in those men all over this country. It triggers anger, frustration, discouragement, sadness, and fear.
I believe I am one of those men. I am not a super hero, but I try to be one to my kids. I'm not Jack, but I try to be him towards my wife. I'm not perfect, but I know the One who is.
On behalf of the men I humbly as you to stop it. Stop believing the worst of us. Stop trying to make us something we are not. Stop tearing us down. Stop viewing us as your enemy.
The enemy is out there and for those of you attacking us...we're your best defense for staying safe.
Now.
For the last 2-3 weeks, I have watched, read, and prayed as the drama unfolded in the nominating and now installing of our latest Supreme Court Justice. I have been horrified, angered, disappointed, and shocked by numerous things over these last few weeks as many others have as well. Yet, depending on which "side of the isle" people find themselves aligning with, those emotional reactions have been to the same events but with vastly different results. I do not presume to change anyone's mind over those events, so I will not even attempt to try. Sadly, most align themselves so fully and deeply with their "isles" that rational conversation seems an unattainable goal.
I did try, and I will demonstrate the futility of it below.
On the morning of the confirmation hearings, a high school classmate of mine posted on FB that we should all support Dr. Ford. I made a comment on her wall and thus it began:
----------------------
Me: No
one should be "supporting" anyone. Innocent until proven guilty still
needs to mean something. Also, we should give the benefit of the doubt
to the one who says they were wronged. We can do both at the same time.
We should all be supportive of finding the truth not versions of the
truth that different sides "support."
(later that night) High School Classmate: I assume you didn’t spend the day listening to today’s hearing... it
doesn’t matter because your insistence on neutrality and apathy on this
is disheartening. Especially coming from a son of a single mother,
partner in a heterosexual relationship, and father of young girls. That
you choose not to be an ally and believer of women is shockingly
disappointing.
Me: neutrality is not equal to apathy. It is equal to neutrality. When did
I say I wasn’t a believer of women? I said innocent until proven guilty
AND benefit of the doubt to the one wronged (that would be the woman,
correct?). Actually, I did watch about 75% of the hearings today. Do you
want to discuss the hearings or make broad sweeping accusations based
on where you have deduced that I stand on it all?
Classmate: Chris, no one knows where you stand in anything because your knee jerk reaction to everything to stand in the middle and never take a side. Never supporting the victim but always playing it. If you stand for something, say it. Do you believe her or not? Otherwise, it’s just white noise. I don’t have the luxury of neutrality. And I don’t have time to talk to people who do.
Me: So
everyone should have gone into the hearing with their minds made up?
Really? It was wrong for me to seek to be neutral before hearing from
the Dr and the judge? We will have to agree to disagree on that if you
think I was wrong to do so...those were some
harsh words. What about do I believe him? Why is it just her that I have
to decide on? He is a real person too with a real wife and real kids.
All of them matter. If you care what I think go read what I just wrote
on my wall. I shared my thoughts after listening today. Not
before...after. But if you don’t have time, I understand. I think it’s
sad but it is certainly your choice. I thought we might be able to
discuss this. I guessed wrong. I won’t make the mistake again.
Classmate:
I don’t think he’s fit to do the job because 3 women have come forward
with sexual assault allegations which leads me to question his ability
the rule on laws that impact women or sexual assault. I didn’t need two
additional women or to hear the hearings to make up my mind because I
make it a point to believe people when they come forward about sexual
assault...
I
don’t give two craps about his life. He’s on deck to become a justice
of the Supreme Court. His family and their happiness have nothing to do
with me. But I will not be neutral when an attempted rapist and serial
assaulter is about to be appointed to the highest court in the land.
AND it’s my page. I don’t have to be nice to anyone. And I don’t have mince my words when someone wastes my time making non-arguments. And not actually discussing anything. You have yet to say definitively if you believe Dr. Ford or not. You have yet to say whether you would be comfortable with Judge Kavanaugh rising to the highest court in the land. You never say anything useful or interesting or even controversial. You say nothing. Believe nothing, then get upset when people fail to see where you’re NOT coming from. You do this EVERY TIME!
Not today, dude. There’s too much on the line.
AND it’s my page. I don’t have to be nice to anyone. And I don’t have mince my words when someone wastes my time making non-arguments. And not actually discussing anything. You have yet to say definitively if you believe Dr. Ford or not. You have yet to say whether you would be comfortable with Judge Kavanaugh rising to the highest court in the land. You never say anything useful or interesting or even controversial. You say nothing. Believe nothing, then get upset when people fail to see where you’re NOT coming from. You do this EVERY TIME!
Not today, dude. There’s too much on the line.
--------------------
*sigh*
Well, that went well didn't it? I left off the numerous comments made by her friends directed towards me because...well, you can imagine what they were like.
So, what is this post about? Well, it's about men. For many, many weeks and honestly months and a few years now, I've heard and read how hard it is to be a woman nowadays. What I haven't heard is a guy brave enough to say, "It's pretty dang hard to be a man too ya know."
So, I figured I say it.
Men. Men are evil. Toxic masculinity. The world's problems are all caused by men. Sound familiar?
You wanna know why men get so angry when they hear those accusations? Because the ones who are actually trying to be men (not boys in men's bodies, not wimps, not thugs, not criminals, not political weasels, not chauvinistic pigs, not abusers, not rapists but real honest to goodness men) are ridiculed, mocked, defamed, undervalued, underappreciated, invisible, and tired. So very, very tired of it all.
You wanna know why people liked Parenthood? Men were on display.
You wanna know why people like This is Us? Men are on display.
You wanna know why people like Marvel movies? Men are on display.
You wanna sell out the box office or grow a loyal fan base for a TV show? Write in good solid men and you will draw the nation.
I'm not talking about popular. Lots of things are popular. I'm talking about what brings people back with deep loyalty. Think about Lost. Was it the story telling? Absolutely! But what else? Men were written to be men. Not perfect. But true men.
I have no idea why the tide has turned so harshly on true solid masculinity, but I can say this. All over this country there are good, decent, hardworking, strong, loving men doing the hard work of providing and protecting, loving and leading, being honest and being humble, and when they see a man who by all known accounts is good and decent getting ripped to shreds on national TV night after night for something no one can prove, it triggers something in those men all over this country. It triggers anger, frustration, discouragement, sadness, and fear.
Fear? Yes, fear. Not for themselves but for their families. A fear of what's coming. A fear of a loss of control. A fear that they too can be stripped away from all they hold dear and will be powerless to stop it.
I believe I am one of those men. I am not a super hero, but I try to be one to my kids. I'm not Jack, but I try to be him towards my wife. I'm not perfect, but I know the One who is.
On behalf of the men I humbly as you to stop it. Stop believing the worst of us. Stop trying to make us something we are not. Stop tearing us down. Stop viewing us as your enemy.
The enemy is out there and for those of you attacking us...we're your best defense for staying safe.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
The Dark Night of the Soul
Two nights ago I received an email letting me know that we were not going to be called to the last church we had applied to almost eight months ago.
I was broken.
Not because I was told no by some church search committee, and not because I was really desperate to move where the church was located.
I was broken because it was the last in a long string of no's: "No, we're not ready for someone like you. No, we want to say yes but the Lord is telling us no. No, your ministry is somewhere else and they will be blessed to have you."
I was broken because just as a year and a half ago a no meant a leaving of all that I knew and now this no means an even deeper leaving...the leaving of the pastorate.
This was our watershed moment. Our moment to see what the Lord wanted the Greenwoods to do next. It was either leap back into the comfortable and familiar saddle of the pastorate or get on a new horse with a new unfamiliar saddle and ride into the unknown (pardon the western illustration).
So, I cried. I got angry. I mourned. I grieved. I was and still am...broken.
Almost all of it has been stripped away. No money. No job. No home. No comfortable. No familiar. No normal. (I am thankful that my health, my family, and my wonderful helpmate all remain)
I still want to be a pastor, but for the next season the Lord is calling us to something new. Something scary. Something undone and untried. Something that seems...not not seems...is impossible without the hand of the Lord.
Being a pastor...loving people...teaching people...being there for people...I delight in it. Is it hard? More than most know. Is it for everyone? Not at all. Am I incapable or unqualified? No, I do not believe so...but I am disallowed...for now. How long? Who knows but in His time and through His grace maybe once again down the road.
So, what now? Well, there is a plan. There is a path. There is a journey.
In the days ahead, many of you will read about it. Many of you will have a chance to be a part of it. Many of you will have the chance to dream the impossible dream (song reference...it's in your head now...sorry about that) with us and pray with us the prayer that never fails (Jane Karon Mitford reference).
Only you, my loyal blog readers, will know the depths from which we have come to set out on this new adventure.
But I want you to know that just as St. John of the Cross penned mighty truth in The Dark Night of the Soul, so there is truth here. All is not dark. We will press through. We will be where we are supposed to be and be better for it. The pain will not last. The loss will not defeat us. The unfamiliar will eventually become familiar and this dark night of the soul?
It will lead to joy, and it will lead to Light.
But until then...pray for us.
I was broken.
Not because I was told no by some church search committee, and not because I was really desperate to move where the church was located.
I was broken because it was the last in a long string of no's: "No, we're not ready for someone like you. No, we want to say yes but the Lord is telling us no. No, your ministry is somewhere else and they will be blessed to have you."
I was broken because just as a year and a half ago a no meant a leaving of all that I knew and now this no means an even deeper leaving...the leaving of the pastorate.
This was our watershed moment. Our moment to see what the Lord wanted the Greenwoods to do next. It was either leap back into the comfortable and familiar saddle of the pastorate or get on a new horse with a new unfamiliar saddle and ride into the unknown (pardon the western illustration).
So, I cried. I got angry. I mourned. I grieved. I was and still am...broken.
Almost all of it has been stripped away. No money. No job. No home. No comfortable. No familiar. No normal. (I am thankful that my health, my family, and my wonderful helpmate all remain)
I still want to be a pastor, but for the next season the Lord is calling us to something new. Something scary. Something undone and untried. Something that seems...not not seems...is impossible without the hand of the Lord.
Being a pastor...loving people...teaching people...being there for people...I delight in it. Is it hard? More than most know. Is it for everyone? Not at all. Am I incapable or unqualified? No, I do not believe so...but I am disallowed...for now. How long? Who knows but in His time and through His grace maybe once again down the road.
So, what now? Well, there is a plan. There is a path. There is a journey.
In the days ahead, many of you will read about it. Many of you will have a chance to be a part of it. Many of you will have the chance to dream the impossible dream (song reference...it's in your head now...sorry about that) with us and pray with us the prayer that never fails (Jane Karon Mitford reference).
Only you, my loyal blog readers, will know the depths from which we have come to set out on this new adventure.
But I want you to know that just as St. John of the Cross penned mighty truth in The Dark Night of the Soul, so there is truth here. All is not dark. We will press through. We will be where we are supposed to be and be better for it. The pain will not last. The loss will not defeat us. The unfamiliar will eventually become familiar and this dark night of the soul?
It will lead to joy, and it will lead to Light.
But until then...pray for us.
Monday, August 24, 2015
That Woman
There she is
that woman over there
The one that is surrounded by eight tiny feet
Working, toiling, striving
pushing forward, pressing on,
part referee, part coach
How does she do it?
Day after day, night after night
I am amazed by that woman
I hear her correct, no, now she encourages,
no wait, now it is counsel, and now just a hug
So many things, flowing from one to the next
She captivates me
She draws me
She walks beside...me
She manages her home, but it's not really her home
She manages her life, but it's not really her life
She manages her children, but they're not really her children
Her home, her life, her children
each hers but not really hers
in different ways but all the same
My life is rocky, yet that woman is a rock for me
My life is uncertain, yet of that woman I am certain
My life seems without purpose, but that woman offers me one
"Choose us," she says
"We are still here." she offers
That woman speaks wisdom into my chaos
I can not seem to thank her enough
I can not seem to appreciate her enough
I find that being with her...that is enough
So, we wait...together
we pray...together
it is enough to be...together
She offers me wisdom
She offers me her heart
She offers me even more
She loves me
And I love that woman
That woman is my wife
that woman over there
The one that is surrounded by eight tiny feet
Working, toiling, striving
pushing forward, pressing on,
part referee, part coach
How does she do it?
Day after day, night after night
I am amazed by that woman
I hear her correct, no, now she encourages,
no wait, now it is counsel, and now just a hug
So many things, flowing from one to the next
She captivates me
She draws me
She walks beside...me
She manages her home, but it's not really her home
She manages her life, but it's not really her life
She manages her children, but they're not really her children
Her home, her life, her children
each hers but not really hers
in different ways but all the same
My life is rocky, yet that woman is a rock for me
My life is uncertain, yet of that woman I am certain
My life seems without purpose, but that woman offers me one
"Choose us," she says
"We are still here." she offers
That woman speaks wisdom into my chaos
I can not seem to thank her enough
I can not seem to appreciate her enough
I find that being with her...that is enough
So, we wait...together
we pray...together
it is enough to be...together
She offers me wisdom
She offers me her heart
She offers me even more
She loves me
And I love that woman
That woman is my wife
Saturday, August 15, 2015
The Difficulty of a Godly Marriage
(so after a really long delay...we continue...)
"It is the hardest thing I do in my life."
I have said that sentence to countless numbers of people.
What was I talking about? I was talking about pursuing a great, Godly marriage.
It just is. The effort I put into having a great and Godly marriage is the most demanding thing in my life and the hardest thing I do every day.
Why is it so hard? Because, once you understand the purpose of marriage, anything less is unacceptable. I can not claim to be a Christian, be married, and be striving for anything less than an amazing, God honoring marriage.
If marriage really is primarily about illustrating the love story of Christ and the Church (see previous blog post), then how can I settle for anything less than the best I can muster each and every day?
As a husband, it demands all that I am (for Christ gave Himself up for the Church).
So, why is it so hard? I mean, if God wants Christian marriages to reflect the greatest love story of all time, why doesn't He just kinda...make it happen? Let's be honest. None of life works that way, right? The best things in life are almost always hard. They're time consuming, effort inducing, and down right exhausting. But...and here's the good part...they're worth it.
So, what is the secret to a great, Godly marriage?
If you think my little ol' blog is going to be able to drop all that wisdom on you in a few paragraphs, I'm sorry to say you are in for a let down. :-)
What I can tell you is that day in and day out my wife and I are committed to loving (I mean real deal, fully committed, all in, Biblical, agape kinda love) each other, working with each other, and never letting down or giving in. Some times and even days love is that amazing feeling. You know that butterfly in the stomach kinda thing? But honestly, many days are filled with multiple choices. I choose to love. I choose to pursue. I choose to not let my hurts or selfishness or anything in between diminish the testimony of the marriage I have been given. I choose marriage.
When we got married, we married as followers of Christ. We both believed that since we were both committed to never getting a divorce and we both loved Jesus our marrieg would be great from the start and never waver. Two years into our marriage we were both wondering if we had spoken too quickly about the not getting divorced part.
You see, no one sat us down and told us that marriage would be hard. That we wouldn't always agree, get along, want to do what the other one was doing, or that we would sometimes just simply want some alone time. No one was honest about the effort a great marriage took.
No one said it would be difficult.
But marriage? A real, great, Godly marriage? It's difficult.
So, why do it?
Because I couldn't imagine my life without my wife. I have learned more from her directly and about myself because of her than any other person. Being married has shown me dimensions about myself I never knew existed. I have seen selfishness, control, pride, arrogance, and immaturity. But I have also seen grace, forgiveness, joy, peace, contentment, and love. (Just to name a few in both those lists)
As you read through Ephesians 5 which I used in my last post, you will see that Jesus is purifying His bride the Church. You see that Jesus demonstrated His love for the Church by laying down His life. You see the Church learning to submit and respect the authority of Jesus. And on and on. Basically, you see a process. You see transformation. You see growth.
It is no different between a man and a woman. Marriage is a journey. It is an adventure. It is transformational. Painful at times? Yes. Exhausting? Absolutely. Difficult? Sure. But it is also so much more.
Exciting. Unpredictable. Interesting. Challenging. Enjoyable.
These are also terms that describe a great, Godly marriage.
I believe without the dynamic that occurs between a man and a woman you lose the wonder, the complexity, and the witness of marriage. In our society, we are going to great lengths to minimize the differences of the genders and to even try to eliminate them all together (take for example Target's recent decision to eliminate grouping toys together by gender).
Yet, Scripture is very clear that marriage is designed to be between two people. It is also very clear that those two people are to be of opposite genders. All of this matters because changing the number or the gender makeup of a marriage affects the struggles and realities within that marriage. Multiple partners create different realities never intended to be dealt with within marriage. Likewise, same genders eliminate an entire host of realities and replace them with others that also were never intended to be dealt with within marriage.
Believe me, the pursuit of a great, Godly marriage is already all encompassing enough without adding extra partners or changing gender realities.
I am honored to be married to my wife. It is my privilege to love her, serve her, honor her, provide for her, and treasure her as the priceless vessel that she is. I have benefited from her love, her support, her counsel, and her personality. It has made me a better man, husband, and dad. I am more like Jesus because of my wife and my marriage to her. She, likewise, is becoming increasingly like the Church as she grows as a woman, a wife, and a mom.
That my dear readers is the ultimate point. That is the highest and truest purpose of marriage. To make us more like Christ and His Church.
What about you? Can you say the same? Is your marriage transforming you? Are you becoming more like Jesus and/or His Church because of your marriage? If you are putting in the demanding effort that marriage calls for, then you will find yourself saying yes to those questions. If you lean towards saying no, let me gently challenge you, encourage you, or call you (pick whatever offends you the least) to dig in deeper. Push harder. Make the extra effort.
A great, Godly marriage is difficult...but all things are possible if you tap into the right power source.
There is always hope for His mercies are new...every morning.
"It is the hardest thing I do in my life."
I have said that sentence to countless numbers of people.
What was I talking about? I was talking about pursuing a great, Godly marriage.
It just is. The effort I put into having a great and Godly marriage is the most demanding thing in my life and the hardest thing I do every day.
Why is it so hard? Because, once you understand the purpose of marriage, anything less is unacceptable. I can not claim to be a Christian, be married, and be striving for anything less than an amazing, God honoring marriage.
If marriage really is primarily about illustrating the love story of Christ and the Church (see previous blog post), then how can I settle for anything less than the best I can muster each and every day?
As a husband, it demands all that I am (for Christ gave Himself up for the Church).
So, why is it so hard? I mean, if God wants Christian marriages to reflect the greatest love story of all time, why doesn't He just kinda...make it happen? Let's be honest. None of life works that way, right? The best things in life are almost always hard. They're time consuming, effort inducing, and down right exhausting. But...and here's the good part...they're worth it.
So, what is the secret to a great, Godly marriage?
If you think my little ol' blog is going to be able to drop all that wisdom on you in a few paragraphs, I'm sorry to say you are in for a let down. :-)
What I can tell you is that day in and day out my wife and I are committed to loving (I mean real deal, fully committed, all in, Biblical, agape kinda love) each other, working with each other, and never letting down or giving in. Some times and even days love is that amazing feeling. You know that butterfly in the stomach kinda thing? But honestly, many days are filled with multiple choices. I choose to love. I choose to pursue. I choose to not let my hurts or selfishness or anything in between diminish the testimony of the marriage I have been given. I choose marriage.
When we got married, we married as followers of Christ. We both believed that since we were both committed to never getting a divorce and we both loved Jesus our marrieg would be great from the start and never waver. Two years into our marriage we were both wondering if we had spoken too quickly about the not getting divorced part.
You see, no one sat us down and told us that marriage would be hard. That we wouldn't always agree, get along, want to do what the other one was doing, or that we would sometimes just simply want some alone time. No one was honest about the effort a great marriage took.
No one said it would be difficult.
But marriage? A real, great, Godly marriage? It's difficult.
So, why do it?
Because I couldn't imagine my life without my wife. I have learned more from her directly and about myself because of her than any other person. Being married has shown me dimensions about myself I never knew existed. I have seen selfishness, control, pride, arrogance, and immaturity. But I have also seen grace, forgiveness, joy, peace, contentment, and love. (Just to name a few in both those lists)
As you read through Ephesians 5 which I used in my last post, you will see that Jesus is purifying His bride the Church. You see that Jesus demonstrated His love for the Church by laying down His life. You see the Church learning to submit and respect the authority of Jesus. And on and on. Basically, you see a process. You see transformation. You see growth.
It is no different between a man and a woman. Marriage is a journey. It is an adventure. It is transformational. Painful at times? Yes. Exhausting? Absolutely. Difficult? Sure. But it is also so much more.
Exciting. Unpredictable. Interesting. Challenging. Enjoyable.
These are also terms that describe a great, Godly marriage.
I believe without the dynamic that occurs between a man and a woman you lose the wonder, the complexity, and the witness of marriage. In our society, we are going to great lengths to minimize the differences of the genders and to even try to eliminate them all together (take for example Target's recent decision to eliminate grouping toys together by gender).
Yet, Scripture is very clear that marriage is designed to be between two people. It is also very clear that those two people are to be of opposite genders. All of this matters because changing the number or the gender makeup of a marriage affects the struggles and realities within that marriage. Multiple partners create different realities never intended to be dealt with within marriage. Likewise, same genders eliminate an entire host of realities and replace them with others that also were never intended to be dealt with within marriage.
Believe me, the pursuit of a great, Godly marriage is already all encompassing enough without adding extra partners or changing gender realities.
I am honored to be married to my wife. It is my privilege to love her, serve her, honor her, provide for her, and treasure her as the priceless vessel that she is. I have benefited from her love, her support, her counsel, and her personality. It has made me a better man, husband, and dad. I am more like Jesus because of my wife and my marriage to her. She, likewise, is becoming increasingly like the Church as she grows as a woman, a wife, and a mom.
That my dear readers is the ultimate point. That is the highest and truest purpose of marriage. To make us more like Christ and His Church.
What about you? Can you say the same? Is your marriage transforming you? Are you becoming more like Jesus and/or His Church because of your marriage? If you are putting in the demanding effort that marriage calls for, then you will find yourself saying yes to those questions. If you lean towards saying no, let me gently challenge you, encourage you, or call you (pick whatever offends you the least) to dig in deeper. Push harder. Make the extra effort.
A great, Godly marriage is difficult...but all things are possible if you tap into the right power source.
There is always hope for His mercies are new...every morning.
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